


All I Could do to You

by CleanFootApplesauce



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anger, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BDSM, BDSM Scene, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Cock Tease, Conflict, Denial, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Love, Hand Jobs, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Internal Conflict, Internal Monologue, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, Love/Hate, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Orgasm Denial, Pain, Self-Denial, Self-Hatred, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-29 02:02:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3878155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CleanFootApplesauce/pseuds/CleanFootApplesauce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mixture of emotion and fantasy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rejection

     "I don't want you!" His words hang thick in the air between us. I don't want to believe him. Hurt hits deep in my chest, I push it aside, I won't show my pain, not to anyone, not to him. I look into his brown eyes with my own.

     "You're such a liar." I tell him softly, pulling in my anger.

     "No, well I never meant to lie to you." He runs his left hand through his short brown hair, nervous, frustrated. 

     "That's not what I mean, just now, you told me you don't want me. That's a lie." I watch him, confusion slightly changing his expression, he frowns.

     "I don't want you, that isn't a lie." He looks at me, still a little confused. I give him a sweet smile.

     "But it was a lie, you don't want me emotionally, you don't want my love, but physically you do. You want me so badly."

     He shakes his head, taking an uncertain step back, eyes darkening, still confused. "I don't want you at all, no more, not anymore."

     The words sting, but I don't relent, it won't end like this. I take a small step towards him, the action goes unnoticed. "You do though, you want me so much, in so many ways," I take another two steps, "It's obvious, how your eyes rake over me whenever you see me, how you act around me, how your body reacts to me." I'm only a few steps away, "you can't hide it." His hands are fisted at his sides, nostrils flaring, ramrod straight, beautifully tense.

     "I don't want you." He says through gritted teeth, I smile.

     "Oh? But you do." I close in the last steps, not touching but just mere inches away, a single shudder runs through his strong, hard body. The pulse in his neck is rapid, I lift my right hand, lightly tracing the singular pulse. He swallows hard, I smile, he's anxious, his knuckles have turned white. I know, I'm the one in control. I press soft, feather light kisses against his jawline, the left corner of his mouth. Another shudder runs down his body, he inhales sharply. I nibble lightly against his bottom lip, in return he presses his lips harder together. I hold in a grin and press a chaste kiss against his left cheek. Then I finally close in the small space between us, body against body. I can fell him, hard and big against my hip.

     "I can feel you," I murmur against his ear, "so big and hard," I rub my hip slightly against his erection, "I can already imagine how good you'll feel inside me," I whisper against his neck, "pounding into me." I shiver rushes down my spine and I moan softly into his neck, his pulse jumps.

     "I-" He let's out a low groan as I cup him through his pants, feeling his cock pulsate with his want.

     "You what?" I question, squeezing gently and letting out a cool breath against the side of his neck. "You're so big. I think it'd be best to get you out of those pants before you break through the seams." I remove my hand from his growing erection then unbutton and unzip his pants. He toes off his shoes, his pants soon after coming off, then wasting no time he takes his boxers off as well.  Lightly, I run my hand up and down his hard cock. Another shudder runs through him. 

     "Please, ahh..." He lets out a groan as I tighten my grip and pump his shaft slowly. Bit by bit I increase the pace. In no time he's already thrusting himself into my hand as I pump him. Precum glistens on the tip of his cock, he's close, but I'm the one in control. I slow the pace briefly, then stop. He's panting, a thin sheen of sweat on his face. He opens his eyes confused and dark with want.

     I smile, "Good-bye dearest." I murmur, then walk away. His cute little pants echoing through the room as I go making me smile again. So fucking adorable even as he breaks my heart.


	2. Giving

     The cutest little smile adorns his face as he sleeps; one arm under his pillow as the other one rests just above his happy trail, legs wide on the lower part of the bed, blanket half tossed to the side and spilling onto the bedroom floor, and the softest breaths coming out of his thin mouth.

     With a small smile of my own I carefully sit myself down on the edge of the bed, no matter how adorable he looks in his sleep or how much I love to watch him sleep, he's always been a light sleeper. It's a surprise in itself that he isn't already awake-that he hasn't already noticed that I wasn't in bed with him asleep.   _My beautiful angel._  If he heard that I know he'd say otherwise, he always would. 

     His brow furrows in his sleep and I lean over and press a soft kiss over the slight wrinkles it creates. _Don't wake up just yet my love._  I smile as the frown leaves and his body goes slack with sleep once more.  _He always looks so young when he sleeps._ Unable to help myself, I brush the pad of my thumb over his slightly open mouth. A flash of surprise shoots through me, making my eyes go wide, when his mouth latches onto my thumb and lightly bites.

     I watch as his mouth curves into a smile and his eyes open slowly, he brings the hand from his lower stomach to his face and rubs his sleep-worn eyes, "Trying to assault me again while I sleep?" He teases, a deep blush at being caught brightens my face, slowly making its way down my neck as I too quickly shake my head. With a soft chuckle he grabs my arm and pulls me down so that I'm half on his upper body, he wraps me in a tight hug then musses up my hair.

     A small noise escapes the back of my throat as I shake out my hair then give him a chastising look, "Did you sleep well?"

     "I'd probably would've slept better if I hadn't been woken." He tells my lightly but it pierces deep into my chest.

     "Oh, sorry." Now I feel like the one chastised and let my head fall forward slightly using my hair to hide my face a bit.

     He shakes his head with a sigh, "I didn't mean it like that."

      I shrug in return, "You're right though, I really shouldn't bother you when you're sleeping."

     With a small sound of frustration he pushes back the hair from my face and lifts my chin up, "You don't bother me, I love waking up to you." 

     Again I shrug and he lets out another sigh before leaning forward slightly and running his thumb over my bottom lip, of course he knows what my reaction would be to that. Automatically I open my mouth a little and take the tip of his thumb into my mouth and bite down lightly then run my tongue over it to take away any pain it may have caused.

    Gently he gives a light tug, I let go. My eyes widen as he runs his now damp finger across my bottom lip, a distracted look on his face. Goosebumps rush over my skin as my body begins to flush with heat. "Why do you always bite?"

     I open my mouth then close it, thinking, "I don't know, it just," I shrug. "it's just automatic for me, instinct, I guess..." I look down at my lap briefly, "I just like to bite, I don't know."

    "Hmmm." He takes his hand away from my mouth and runs it against my jawline then skims my neck. 

    "Is that a bad thing...?" I wonder softly, suddenly feeling uncertain.

     "No." He doesn't add anything onto that and I take a small breath not feeling very assured with the singular answer.

     "You don't mind it?" I question, trying to get a bit more of an answer from him.

     "No." His hand moves up the back of my neck then into my hair, grasping a handful and giving it a gentle tug.

     Heat spikes through my body, he knows how much I like my hair pulled. I let my head fall back slightly, exposing my neck to him. _So hot._ A small noise of enjoyment escapes the back of my throat, vibrating softly. Slowly he leans his face towards my neck, making me lean more, arching and exposing my neck even more to him. I catch a glimpse of a smile on his mouth then he nuzzles his face against the slope between my collarbone and base of my neck. The slight rasp of his unshaven cheek causes me to let out a small breath of air.

     "What would you do if I bit you, I wonder..." I hear him murmur against my skin.

     The words register slowly in my hazed mind, "Um, what?"

     Teeth brush against the sensitive skin of my neck making the breath catch in the back of my throat, then his tongue runs over the trail his teeth had just made.

     "Can I bite you?"

     "Yess." I feel rather than see his smile at my drawn out response.

     Again his teeth brush against my skin before he finally bites down, a soft moan makes its way out of my parted lips. Once more his tongue runs over the place his teeth were. "Sorry, that was a bit harder than I wanted." He murmurs lifting his head back from my neck.

     "Don't apologize, damn, that felt good." I bring my head back up then brush my mouth against him, "I liked that a lot liebe." I bring my hands up to his head, smoothing through his short hair, "Better than just good, fuck, that was amazing."

     A shy smile lights his face and he presses his forehead against mine, "You sure?"

     "Positive."

      "Good."

     "I could really go for a bit more though, if you're up for it." I tell him before licking his mouth.

     "Oh?" 

     "Yeah," I try to hide a smile as I run my hands from his head down his shoulders to softly rub over his chest and ribs,"and it does look like you're _up_ for it, if you know what I mean."

     "Am I?" He asks me with a teasing light in his eyes.

     "Oh, yes, yes you are." I say playing along, "If you want I could show you." I tell him giving him a light kiss against his jawline.

     "If you show me, I'll show you."

      Ready and up for his little game I move back a little and let my hands move lower down his body, teasing him just at his happy trail. Muscles flex and go taut against my hands. _Beautiful._ I smile softly then bring my hands down to the noticeable tent of his navy blue boxers, "Somebody's happy to see me." I comment running my hands just under the elastic band of the boxers, he lifts his hips up and I hold in a smile, _so ready._ Not wanting to disappoint I slowly pull his boxers down then throw them over and onto the floor. I look up at him and see the lightest of blushes on his face, "I something the matter love?" I wonder as I reach out and take a light hold on the head of his erect cock, precum already glistens on the tip.

     His eyes darken and he visibly swallows, "You're still fully dressed."

     "Mhmm." I say distractedly as I rub the precum over the tip of his cock, "is that a problem?" He shakes his head, hands already lightly fisted in the bedsheets. "Bueno chico." I murmur softly before leaning forward and licking the head of his cock. His muscles lock at the contact and I look up at him with a slightly raised eyebrow, "Is this okay?" His chest rises and falls with quick succession, I wait patiently for a verbal answer.

     "Yess, just," he swallows hard, "just surprised me that's all."

     "Oh?" I question, waiting for more.

     "Yes, please, continue."

     "Your wish is my command." I murmur with a small smirk. I let my head fall back down slightly and once more lick the head of his cock, then take the head into my mouth and suck lightly.

     "A little harder, please." I do what he asks, sucking just a bit harder and his hips buck up slightly, pushing a bit more of his cock into my mouth, "ah, sorry." I smirk to myself. S _ure._ I take him into my mouth as far as I can without gagging too much and earn another buck of his hips. I continue the ministrations on his cock, taking him just a bit more deeper and letting my tongue run against the underside as I back my mouth up until the tip is just in front of my lips. 

     "Want more? Want to cum in my mouth?" I ask giving his cock another light lick and earning a small groan from him.

     "Yess."

     I smile lightly to myself as I look up at him, his chest heaving lightly with the pants coming out of his mouth, his eyes are tightly closed and I frown, "Look at me, I want you to watch me suck you off."  His eyes snap open, dark and beautiful, he nods. I go back to his cock, licking the underside with one long swipe of my tongue then take him wholly into my mouth. My ears in tune with the pants and soft groans that come out past his lips. I take him in deep, then just inside my lips, then deep once more, continuing the rhythm until I feel his hips begin to spastically move against me. I grip his hips lightly, though it helps little, so I follow with the uneven pace he sets, letting him use my mouth as he pleases. His body snaps taut and he releases his load into my mouth. I wait until his body dies down before pulling back slightly and looking up to him, he's still looking at me and I smile to myself. I wait until he realizes that my mouth has his cum in it and if it's possible his eyes darken even further. I watch as he watches me swallow then lick my lips lightly, his mouth opens like he wants to say something then closes and he grabs a hold of my one hand and gives it a light tug, I move up so that I'm straddling his stomach, "Did you enjoy that?" I ask letting my free hand smooth through his short hair.

     "Yes, that was," his eyes close briefly, "that was amazing."

     I let out a small smile, "You're welcome."

     Out of nowhere his phone goes off, he lets go of my hand and reaches over to the nightstand, picking it up and answering it, "Hey." 

     Feeling kind of ignored I begin to run my hands over his chest,smoothing over toned muscle then leaning forward and pressing a small kiss over his heart.  _I hope it's not important._ He sits up suddenly causing me to hit my face slightly against his chest.  _Oh._  

     "Sorry." He murmurs distractedly to me, all of his concentration on who ever was on the other end of the call, "How much time do we have?"

     "All the time in the world." I tell him softly, but he isn't paying attention. 

     "Yeah, I'll be there right away. See you in a few." He says then hangs it up with a sigh.

      "You have to leave?" I ask already knowing the answer.

     "Yeah, it's one of those operations when they're testing us to see how quickly we can get to the checkpoint."

      "Oh."

     "Yeah, um, I need to get ready." He say awkwardly.

      "Oh, sorry." I murmur moving off of him to sit on the bed. I watch as he hurries around the room, throwing on his uniform and grabbing his pack from the closet.

      He turns back towards me and sees that I'm still sitting on the bed, "Sorry-"

     "It's okay." I reassure him getting up off of the bed and moving over to him. I hug him tight then kiss him, wanting to make it last, but I can feel the impatience going through him. I end the kiss almost as quickly as I had began it. He catches me up in a quick hug then steps back, with one last look at me he hurries out the door. I hear the sound of his car start and then pull out of the driveway and leave.

     I go back over to the bed and make it then sit on the edge.  _He left me so hot._ I let out a breath as I rub my fingers over the spot where he had bitten me, sending shivers of remembrance through me. I shake my head instead and stand up from the bed.  _It's no use even trying to get off with my hands, it's never worked for me. Just leaves things worse and feeling stupid for even trying._  A sigh escapes from my mouth and I pull my shirt over my head then push my shorts down my hips then kick them off. _Maybe a shower will help to get rid of the heat, it seems to always work for guys, might as well try the same._  With an absent shrug at my own thoughts I reach up and push off the straps of my bra from my shoulders, then reach back and unclasp it, letting it fall onto the bedroom floor. I walk over to the bathroom door and turn the water on testing it with my hand until I approve of the temperature. After a few minutes the water isn't too hot or cold and I peel my panties from my body and toss them into the clothes hamper.  _So hot and ready for him, it's a shame he had to leave._ I step into the shower, closing the door behind me and let the water run down over me for a few seconds before going through the automatic bathing routine.  _  
_

  

          


	3. Want

     I want to send him spiraling out into sexual oblivion. Listen to him groan and pant as he gets closer and closer. How his pleas will fill the air, begging me for more. Instead I'd hold back, take him down from the high. Just to bring him back to the edge. Tease him until I know he can't take anymore. Then, finally, push him over the ledge. Watching it pass over him and then as he catches up with his heart, and slowly relaxes into a state of pure ease. 


	4. Unspoken Words

     The slight tinge of fear sends small pulses of anxiety through my body.

     "Come here." His voice soft as his face doesn't betray a thing from him.

     "Did I do something wrong?" I wonder with a tentative step forward, not sure at all how to go about this confrontation.

     "Did you?" He asks, shooting the question back at me, causing my feet to pause, "come here."

     I shake my head slightly, my hands clenching and unclenching, empty at my sides.

     "Come. Here." Once again he repeats, the muscle in his jaw twitching ever so slightly.

     "Did I do something wrong?" I ask one more time.

     For a brief moment he closes his eyes and lets out a sigh. When he looks back at me there's a glimmer of annoyance in his eyes, "Don't make me repeat myself."

      I open then close my mouth, at a loss of words. _If he'd just tell me what is wrong._ "Did I?"

      His eyes narrow and he instead walks up to me, his hands moving and grasping firmly onto my upper arms. He looks down at me, "Yes. Yes you have."

      My eyes widen in response, _I try so hard to be good._ "I-i don't understand."

      "Don't you?" His voice is so soft, cold, like when snow first begins to fall.

      "What did I-"

      "You know what you've done." He tells me with a barely contained growl.

      "I really don't." I murmur reaching up to touch his face, to smooth away whatever ails him.

      With a jerk he pulls away before I even have a chance to make any contact, "Don't touch me."

      My heart clenches, _I don't understand what have I done wrong?_ "Tell me then, what have I done so wrong by you?"

      Instead of an answer he shakes his head and begins to walk away, "I'm not dealing with this right now."

      "Tell me. Please, just tell me." I say as panic begins to bubble inside of me. I close the distance between his retreating back and myself, not thinking I reach out taking a light hold onto the back of his navy blue t-shirt.

      He whips around and grabs a hold of my wrist, not harshly just quickly enough to surprise me, "Don't touch me."

      I look down with a silent nod and he releases my wrist then walks away. I can't move, too many emotions are fighting and bubbling up in me. Tears want to fall but I push them down. Noise comes from the bedroom, sounds of him rooting around, then an overly loud sound of a zipper being zipped. He comes back towards me, one of his duffel bags slung over his shoulder, "Where are you going?" I ask cautiously.

     "Out."

     "Will you be back?" I ask shrinking away from that one harsh word.

     "Maybe."

     I want to ask more, to know why. To know why he's leaving.  _What have I done wrong?_ I want to reach out and grab him, hold on and not let go, but I don't; not wanting to make things any worse. "I'm sorry. For whatever I've done wrong, I'm sorry."

    He doesn't even acknowledge what I've said, instead walks past me and out the front door. 

    The sound of the door closing seems to echo throughout the house, in my ears. I swallow hard and press a fist against my mouth, stifling the sounds that he isn't even here to hear.  _I'm so sorry for whatever I've done, please. Please, just come back home. Come back to me, please._

 

_____Later that night_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

    The loud knocking drew me out of my fitful sleep. I had fallen asleep on the living room couch, uncomfortably but unable to go back to the bedroom-unable to fall asleep properly without him. I stumble up from the couch and awkwardly make my way to the front door as the knocking continues. Once there I open it, having let it unlocked just in case if he'd come home after a while.

    His one buddy has him draped over a shoulder in a fireman's carry and his bag draped over the other, "Hey. Where should I put him?"

    This is the first something like this has ever happened, first time he's left to go and get drunk. No doubt doing it in spite of me since he knows how I feel about alcohol. "The bedroom, here, I'll show you. I'll just put that here." I tell him taking the bag and putting it down beside the coat rack then leading him back to the bedroom.

   He not too gently lays him down on the bed then turns to me, "He wouldn't stop, and then he couldn't lift his glass anymore."

   I nod absently, "Yeah, I'm not surprised. Sorry for any trouble he caused."

   He shakes his head, "Wasn't any. Just glad to get him home. Take care of him."

   We head back to the front door, "I will." I tell him then he leaves and I close and lock the door behind him.

   Turning away I head to the kitchen, the lights are dim and I open a cabinet, grabbing a cup I go over to the fridge and fill it with water. I leave the kitchen with the glass of water and go to the bathroom, opening the medicine cabinet and getting a few Advil out of the bottle. With a small sigh I head to the bedroom and set the glass of water and Advil down on the bedside table for him when he wakes. He makes a discomforted noise in his sleep and I turn to look at him sprawled out on the bed. Another sigh escapes my mouth. I move closer and then begin to untie and take off his shoes, then I pull off his socks, I pause when he moves to lay on his stomach then go back to undressing him. I move up so that I'm kneeling on the bed beside his upperbody and smooth a hand against his forehead with a small frown. _Why did you do this?_   I manage to fit my hands under his hips and find the button and zipper of his jeans, I undo them and begin to carefully take them off of him. He moves again in his sleep and I get out of his way as he moves onto his back. The position is better for me and I get his jeans off of his legs. I see goosebumps begin to freckle his skin and grab the throw off of the foot of the bed and drape it over his sleeping form. I watch with a sad smile as he burrows under the throw for warmth, I want to lay down beside him and give him mine. _But what if he wakes up and leaves again because of me? He told me not to touch him._  At odds with my caring nature and his words a stray tear runs down my face, I brush it away with a sigh. _He'll just have to deal with it, he knows how I am. I'd never leave him out in the cold._ I carefully get onto the bed and situate myself against him, right away he pulls me against him and hugs me to him as he sleeps. A breath that I wasn't aware I was holding makes it past my lips and I relax.  _Things are okay. For now at least. I don't want him to hate me._ I find myself drifting into sleep with those last thoughts,  _things are okay._   


End file.
